Feeling lonely this time of year? The holidays are lonely for many people, so you are not alone. It is ok to feel lonely. Sit with the feeling and think about why you are lonely. Are you missing someone? Do you wish for more friends? Is your partner not with you? Maybe you are celebrating by yourself and not sure how to have a pleasant holiday. Everyone seems to have a special someone but you.
Acknowledge it and if you want to, take some steps. The holidays can intensify lonely feelings and make it seem like you are alone and the only one missing loved ones. What you want is to feel connected and feel the joy of the season.
You are in very good company! Most everyone is missing someone dear to them. And if you are celebrating the holidays by yourself there are ways you can feel more connected and bring joy into your life.
You deserve peace, joy, and laughter during the holiday no matter your circumstances. Let’s create some joy for you.
Make a holiday plan now. Things for you, so that you have plans to look forward to.
1. Plan Activities – think about what makes you laugh and brings you peace
-Make a list of things you want to do over the holiday that you enjoy.
-Put these items on your calendar, it is important to schedule it
2. Reach Out To People
-Reach out to friends and family to get together
-Have a chat on the phone or video call
3. Volunteer
- Giving back is a surefire way to think of others, serve, give your time. It will warm you up.
4. Practice Gratitude
-This may be difficult when you are wishing things were different -but gratitude can change your perspective
-What are you grateful for? What do you have that you treasure?
-What do you have coming up to look forward to?
-What people in your life bring goodness or happiness?
-What inspires you?
5. Try Some Calming Exercises when you start feeling upset
-Deep breathing – there are a lot of short videos you can watch on youtube if you want a guide
-Meditate – this can be tough for some of us, so try it for just a few minutes, the thoughts will come in and bother, try to let them float by. When you notice your brain following them, put your focus on counting breathing in for 5 and breathing out for 5.
-Mindfulness can be a game-changer. Look around, use your 5 senses to center you. The idea is to be in the PRESENT. What is happening right NOW.
What do you smell? Do you have a candle or diffuser? Cookies or coffee brewing?
What do you see? Look at something beautiful or something that brings up a pleasant memory.
Touch – cozy up with a blanket, touch the soft fabric or your sweater, immerse in a warm bath
Taste – try a new food, cook something you have been wanting to try, sip on a favorite beverage. Really taste the food or sip the drink. Why do you like it? What pleases you about the taste?
Hear – is a truck driving by? Is it windy? Did you put on some of your favorite music? Try a soothing nature sound if that is comforting.
6. Start New Traditions
What would you like your holiday traditions to be? How about starting something new that you create this year and if you like it, carry it over to next year? You could keep some of the same and add new traditions if you like.
7. Try Something New
Is there something you have been wanting to try? Something new that you have been wanting to learn? How about now?
8. Get Out In Nature
Being outside has a way of bringing us into the present. Maybe it is the fresh air or the movement or the observation of natural beauty.
9. Get Physical
Doing any type of exercise or other movement like spring cleaning will elevate your emotions. Your feelings get lodged in your muscles and they need to escape. Exercise will release those feelings from your body and get you feeling more like yourself.
Not a big exercise fan? Combine walking with talking on the phone, observing nature, listening to an audiobook or podcast, or walking with someone you know. Maybe an exercise class is more your style or kickboxing with a youtube class.
It is tough to feel lonely. Remember loneliness is a feeling, not a fact. You are not actually alone, the holidays may be just making you feel nostalgic or wishing for different circumstances. SO many people feel this way over the holiday, you are not alone in this feeling. Maybe you want to change your circumstance in the new year but for now, create your own peace and own joy.
Take good care, the TrueConnection Community is with you!
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